Career Transition and Loneliness: An Honest Reflection

I’ve been out of work and at home for close to a year now. Not sure I have adjusted. I did think I had lots of projects to do and things to sort out during this time.

Don’t get me wrong, I have been able to do things I would not do while working. I have been away on extended holidays, met up with friends, and had the odd drunken lunch.

I have a mostly solid daily routine. Wake up with the kids, breakfast with family, drop kids off to school, gym. Then in the afternoon: kid pick-up, homework, dinner and night routine.

During the day I am often at home and on my own, and man it can get lonely at times.

Sure I meet people for lunches and coffees during the week and that does help break things up. I get to spend more time with my kids—yes.

But being in an office setting, dealing with calls and emails, you miss that social connection. Especially when you have been doing it for more than half your life.  Until being out of work for an extended period of time, I didn’t realise how mentally important this is.

I do NOT miss the never ending emails going off all the time and at all hours, but there will be days without a single message or contact outside of immediate family.

It can be unsettling at times.

We Are Social by Nature

I think we are social by nature:

“You’ll more quickly find an earthly thing kept from the earth than you will a person cut off from other human beings” - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.9.3

And that is what makes us human. We also need our solitude, to think, to recharge, but a balance needs to be found.

There is a real mental challenge of not spiralling into a negative space. I have spoken to others in a similar situation (both presently in my position and those who were previously in my position). Without doubt this was one of their biggest mental challenges.

The Gap Between Social Media and Reality

I don’t want this post to sound all doom and gloom, but I sometimes feel that such topics are not discussed more as it does affect a lot of people. Social media is filled with success, smiley, happy people. But there are lots of people going through mental challenges. Pressure to find work. Feeling isolated and closed off. Not knowing where and how to get support.

Staying Mentally Checked In

For me, I make sure I am mentally checked in. I make sure I do stuff, but there are days where I do waste time online (notwithstanding what I have written before). Partly because I can, nobody is asking me to complete a timesheet anymore.

I am staying healthy, keeping physically fit, spending time with my kids, reading and writing, meeting new people and connecting.  I am trying new things like taking swimming classes and learning how to use Canva.  I am enjoying my “time off”, but damn, sometimes it can be lonely.

Maybe all of this is due to a bit of anxiety about not finding work?

If you have had an extended time of work how did you / have been dealing with all this “alone” time?  Please do reach out and share your experiences by subscribing to the blog or dropping me a message.